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August 18, 2005
I'm getting shaky....
I had an intense week last week in San Francisco, participating in the US WILPF Triennial Congress. More on that over there.
Then I came home with very little sleep. Spent some time after midnight Sunday night / Monday morning chatting with my cousin. Read some of the Sunday New York Times. Woke up rather early to go to a chiropractor appt before work. And went to work. And that cycle repeated most of the week - with the inclusion of a trip to Trader Joe's and laundry tonight (must stop writing and go get it).
Here's the thing that's really throwing me off - I stopped smoking or drinking soda. I've been struggling with smoking for the past dozen years. I have quit several times, but never permanently. Often something sucks me in - really long drives (like across country alone), drinking alcohol, hanging out with smokers, etc. And I've been addicted to soda longer than I've been addicted to nicotine. I distinctly remember being home from college for a week or two and only drinking coffee and Coke. What a health nut I am!
So this week, it was cold turkey. I never really meant to do both at the same time, but I got sick of lugging soda up to my third floor apt and paying for it and feeling guilty about drinking it afterwards. (Guilty because of the sugar content, not because of the probably valid problems people have with the Coca-Cola corporation.) And I left college thinking I would quit smoking then. I've always known the smoking kills line, since I lost three grandparents to it, but that doesn't really connect with the part of me that just enjoys the sweet release of the deep inhale of that completely addictive carcinogen. I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay on the wagon when I go out - wont I just tell myself its okay to drink soda as long as I don't smoke? And wont I just bum a smoke once I get drunk? I dunno the answers. All I know is that I'm itchin for a fix.
So far, I've gotten through the headaches with lots of water and tea and some strawberries. I think I need to buy more ice cream - but everything I put in my crappy freezer gets freezer burn instantaneously (its the small type within a refridgerator that isn't made for actual freezing, just occasional storing).
That's my story. Thanks for indulging my self-involved tendencies and reading this post despite the fact that its not directly related to culture (the true theme of this blog).
Posted by cj at August 18, 2005 08:55 PM