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October 26, 2005
Dissection of a Broken Heart
Oh hell, it is still too soon for this post. The detritus of my past life surrounds me. It's all a memory of what once was, what I clung to desperately long after my head knew it was over, where I dreamed for four months for completion.
I would give up all the material crap he left me in a heart beat, if I had only gotten what I waited four months for.
Lessons Learned:
1. Have your own friends in the city you live in. Doesn't matter if you stumble and spend time with crappy people for awhile, make time to find your own peeps where you live.
2. Put yourself first. Always. At the end of the day, no matter how much you think you're in love, you are the only person you can depend on.
3. Do not denigrate your friends and family. No matter how special you think your relationship is, the people who were with you before it started are the ones who will be there after it ends.
4. Never lose yourself in someone else's opinions or dreams. They are not your dreams. If you forget what your dreams are, you need to end the relationship - a person always needs her own dreams. And living happily ever after with your partner cannot be your only dream.
5. Try not to berate yourself for taking time to grieve the end of a relationship. The more you gave away during the good times, the harder it will be once its over. Eventually, you'll be able to control your tear ducts and emotions.
6. Keep moving foward even while following lesson #5.
7. Life is too short to lack in any area of a relationship. Do not accept mediocrity and do not get so comfortable being miserable that you forget how fabulous you are as an individual.
So obviously, I still need to remind myself of these seven lessons. Its hella hard. Best and worst advice I took from that guy was getting my own apartment. Right now, it's the loneliest place in the world.
Posted by cj at October 26, 2005 08:08 PM
Comments
Hard to argue with that. It gets harder when you're married and find yourself in a situation like that, especially when you have a child. You keep hoping that things will get better. Before you know it, you have waited a long time. You remember that you once thought "aw, that will never happen to me" and then you realize that, well, it has.
Posted by: Deuce at October 27, 2005 01:38 PM
Ouch. Sounds rough. I'm sorry to hear you're going through a tough patch. I hope it's not too long before you see it through...
Posted by: theaardvark at November 4, 2005 09:19 AM