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June 01, 2006
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
I've been in Chicago for two years, longer than I've stayed in any city since graduating college 6 years ago. Eventually, I'd like to get a job in the peace economy, but since that economy is currently dwarfed by all other economies in the US, I'm havin a bit of difficulty finding a dream job...
And then, I've got to wonder: where should I be applying for work? I thought I had decided to try to stick it out here in the Land of Broken Dreams. But familial relations are tugging my heart strings back to LaLa Land. My friends caution me not to make a decision based solely on feelings for others. Which is true. I think part of the problem is that I've been stuck in my head alone for the last year and the opportunity to truly help someone sparkles at me like a pair of shiny, new shoes. And if you know me at all, you know it's difficult for me to pass up new shoes.
Often, I berate myself for the apparent lack of forward progress in my life in the last year. I stayed at exactly the same job in exactly the same apartment with almost exactly the same furniture as I was a year ago, when I was eagerly anticipating moving back to LaLa Land with the broken promise. Dig a little deeper and you'll find that (a)I no longer define myself in relation to a significant other (b)I've taken on more responsibility in WILPF - I'm now the Program Chair! And it can be a little overwhelming at times to think about, but it's definitely enough work to keep me busy (c)I've been applying to jobs and (d)I've really learned how to enjoy my own company.
Now it's time to completely move on. 50% of me wants to keep trucking along in The Windy City, because for some reason I feel like I can get my bearings here better than anywhere with the distraction of friends and family. The other 50% wants to go back to L.A. - at least for a year - because it would be a great year to be in L.A...
in other news, I got my first tan in, oh, five years! It's only the start of great things to come. Of course, next time I'm out on the river in 90 degree heat, I'll wear sunscreen.
Posted by cj at June 1, 2006 10:21 PM