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January 24, 2007

The Miracle of Life: Birth & the Covenant

Last Tuesday, I witnessed a true miracle. I witnessed the birth of my nephew. There is truly nothing in the world that compares with child birth. I now understand why a parent's first identity is as a parent. I now understand why women long for children. Alas, my biological clock started ticking last Tuesday.

Right, so how to better explain the experience? Well, I was a nervous wreck. The first thing I heard, around 11 am while at work, was that the obstetrician said my sister's blood pressure was high and that he was going to induce. My sis and mom went to the hospital and waited to be induced. Around 3:30, I left work. I was on the freeway when my mom called and said Liz was about to be induced and that I might as well go home and wait. Yeah right. I didn't care if I had to wait by myself in the waiting room - I was goin to the hospital. When I got there, I was immediately sent on errands at Liz's house with Mom. It took us over an hour to get from downtown LA to Atwater Village and back again. It was a nerve-wracking experience.

When I finally entered the hospital, around 6 pm, we briefly saw Liz & Ziv and then went to the cafeteria to eat dinner. Went back to the room, and surprisingly, I was allowed to stay. (Apparently, only two people are supposed to be there). We chatted and watched bad t.v., waiting for American Idol to begin (Liz's pick). A short while after it started, Liz asked to have the t.v. turned off - her contractions had gotten worse and she wanted to listen to her Isaac's birth mix on her iPod home stereo. Ziv set it up, but I was in charge of fixing it (b/c he didn't get the play list right). That was nice, because it made me feel useful.

But when Ziv was sent on an errand and I was asked to hold Liz's hand I accidentally ended up squeezing her hands - I was so nervous! I was definitely the second most nervous person in the room (obviously Liz was the most nervous). So I retreated to a chair relatively far away from her bed and read the NY times calendar section front to back. (Apparently, T.S. Eliot was a truly amazing poet; and a died-in-the-wool anti-Semite.)

The contractions got worse and my awe got more profound. At some point, it was explained that I was in the delivery room - that I'd be there when she gave birth. Ziv sang to Liz, massaged her feet, rubbed her temples, kissed her, and held her softly. It was so beautiful and so profound - childbirth for single women must be the most traumatic day of their lives. I can't imagine going through it without the father of the child, the way that Liz & Ziv were together.

Liz asked for some drugs to help her through the pain and it seemed to get better. Then, around 9:30, her doctor came in to check how dilated she was. (Last check was 3 centimeters, 0 station. No one could explain to me how many centimeters equalled fully dilated.) He announced that she was fully dilated and that we were beginning the delivery process. It was odd how we weren't even asked to wash our hands, let alone put masks or anything on.

So, Mom and I moved to the corner and Ziv stayed next to Liz. Mom took control of the still camera and I worked the camcorder. I was worried about not having enough batteries for the birth, so I kept hitting pause. I had no idea how long the labor part would take....I think I ended up with about ten minutes worth of tape. In retrospect, I maybe shouldn't have listened to Mom who kept suggesting that I hit pause. Oh well.

The odd thing was, I couldn't see much. Mostly, I saw Ziv and a tuft of Liz's hair (I was basically standing behind her). And I saw the doctor and the obnoxious nurses. I say obnoxious because they kept yelling "push, push." I know, that's what Liz was supposed to do during the contractions - but did two of them really need to shout like that? And then, one had the nerve to say "good girl." Excuse me?!?! The woman's having a baby and you're callin her a GIRL? Maybe I'm over-reacting; after all, Liz didn't even remember the comment. But I don't think I over-reacted - I think it's ridiculous to say "good girl" to a woman in labor.

And then, it happened. Just as Liz was saying she was done and couldn't push anymore - typical Margolis-Minster female reaction to the miracle of birth - Isaac popped out (upside down). He didn't immediately cry and he was white. White, just like me when I was born (as I'm told). And now I know what I looked like - a bit gross. As Ziv and Liz cried tears of joy, I moved over to the crib and shot film as the obnoxious nurse cleaned him up. Oh my goodness. I saw him and filmed him during his first few minutes of life. Eventually Ziv picked him up and carried him over to Liz. We took some more pictures.

And then, she had me ask the nurse if it was alright to feed him. I know, silly question - but I dutifully went and asked. Of course, the answer was affirmative (as long as Master Haims was amenable).

So, not only did I get to witness Isaac's birth, but I also got to witness his first feeding. I do not understand why anyone would choose to formula feed if it was at all possible to breast feed. The bonding, the health benefits, the nurturing, oy.

Bris: the word that doesn't mean Circumcision
Today was Isaac's bris. His father made a covenant with G'd to accept him as a member of the tribe. Or something like that. I read a poem and was announced as one of his godmothers (along with his grandmas). Sigh.

Perhaps I'm a freak, but I have an intense fascination with every aspect of his life, so I watched the actual circumcision. Gotta say, there was quite a lot of foreskin for such a lil guy. As the moyel said "he has a zaftig schmekel."

The best part of the night was at the end. I had to be polite and not beg to hold him - after all, his paternal grandparents are in town from Miami, and they have first dibs. But then, at the end of the night, I got to wake him up (so he could feed) and then distracted him while his mom and dad changed his diaper. That was the best job of the day - distracting my new love with kisses on his round lil cheeks. And then I held him while everyone said their goodbyes and I carried him down to the car.

Oy vay iz meer. This sudden onset of a biological clock is rather disturbing. I keep trying to remember how I used to feel - how completely nonchalant I was about the entire idea of having a family. Now, my search for a partner is about more than just finding a partner. And yet, I know I can't become one of those crazy, Jewish women who stalk men and start askin about kids on the first date.

I hope I can find someone to share my crazy, roller-coaster life with. Because I'd really like to give Isaac another cousin. :)

Posted by cj at January 24, 2007 06:53 PM

Comments

Posted by: Tom S. at February 11, 2007 10:54 PM

Posted by: Lin at May 25, 2007 08:54 AM

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