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November 02, 2008
The Over-Examined Life
Sometimes, it's dangerous to get lost in thoughts. If you examine every decision that got you from point x to today, you can get lost in the labyrinth of your past life.
I saw a picture on Facebook that started me on this dangerous path. It was a passel of Wellesley woman at a wedding. The crew were my first semester first year dorm mates. It jarred me to realize how divergent my path was from their experiences.
Which got me wondering what people I knew in the past are doing now and how they'd react to my current reality. I suppose I'm not alone in drifting apart from people over the years. Social networking sites makes it seem so easy to bridge the chasm of time. But what about those people who slammed the door when they left? Or who are beyond the reach of human outreach?
I know loss is one of the things we adults learn to live with. I know the best way to push open the doors to the future is to accept the finality of the past.
Still, I wish I had faith in something beyond this life. I know my lingering feelings about being a bad protector are irrational. Ultimately, we all make our own decisions and are the masters of our own fates.
At the end of the day, my mind is firmly set in the Now with an eye on the Future. So, I'll stop navel-gazing and start planning for tomorrow.
Posted by cj at 08:24 PM | Comments (0)